Last year in June, I turned 21. My idea of a perfect 21st birthday was to travel somewhere I’d never been to, spend quality time with people I love, adventure into the unknown, and eat fried chicken & waffles somewhere along the way. Somehow, I decided Oregon would be the place to do this.
This has been such a scary year. It was a year FULL of jumping into the unknown. From the start, leaving the place and people I made home (Oahu, HI), to live in what felt like a foreign land (Los Angeles, CA.). Then there was the challenge of actually starting to use my gifts. Having to lay down so much pride and pick up so much humility. Staring new relationships, and discovering the new layers of old ones.
Something that I get a lot- is a variation of, “You’re so young, you have time to figure it out.”
I have a friend thats been like a brother to me since high school. About a year ago his younger brother Oscar passed away. Just like that. So unexpected. Cause nobody (including me) expected a person to die at 15. I think we’re all under the impression that we have at least 70-80 years to live. Until then, we think tomorrow is promised. But the passing of a wonderful 15 year old kid challenged me to see that 20 wasn’t promised- as much as the next day.
I’ve personally never felt good enough in any one particular craft. I love doing all kinds of creative things, but never felt confident enough to pursue them further. My perspective has kinda always been, “well if I just do everything for "fun/hobby", there’s no expectations. Therefore, I don't have to be great at those things”. I thought that if I lessened my dreams or didn't have any at all, it's better than reaching and falling short. Which that’s not a bad view on life, if you want a mediocre one.